May 27, 2013

a perspective shift on mothering.

I've had some really hard weeks these past few months. Days when I for sure thought I was going to lose my mind, days when I felt like giving up on this whole parenting thing.

Pretty sure I wasn't doing a good job.

Pretty sure I wasn't getting through at all to my toddler who seems to test my will more than ever these days.

Days when I've sat and cried for a few minutes while they are tucked in their beds for nap time. A few times that I've snuck into the pantry alone and sat there for a few small moments reminding myself to breath, and come out with a smile on my face.

Wouldn't it be awesome if there was a definitive handbook on how to raise children? A handbook that told you exactly every single scenario that was going to happen and how to handle it? Yup, that would be awesome sometimes.

And just when I'm sure my child hates me, and doesn't like me at all she says something that forever changes my perspective on mothering and parenting.

My husband knows just how much of a hard time I've been having lately and does a great job of checking in on me throughout the day.

Sunday night (mother's day) my husband did the bed time routine with Ava while I was doing my best to calm my screaming 4 month old.

He came down after tucking her in and told me this story;

He was reading Ava a book before bedtime and it was about friendship and best friends. He asked Ava at the end;

"Ava, who's your best friend?"

Ava replied; "Mommy is."

This little two second conversation to me has completely changed my perspective. I realized that how I see myself as a parent my failures, my short comings, etc. Isn't how my child sees me at all. To her I'm her best friend!

Even though I discipline her, and loose my patience sometimes, and cry over the fact that she isn't listening and think about how hard this parenting gig is she doesn't see that at all.

Now matter how many times we mess up or think we fail, or feel like we just can't do another day remind yourself as a mom that your children think you're amazing, you're their hero and they love you so much.

I will repeat this to myself when she's tired and cranky.

When she's being disobedient and needing me to teach her.

When we have hard days.

When I have a hard day.

Sometimes all we need is a little perspective shift and a little encouragement to get us back on track.


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