June 1, 2011

tiny human

That's what Orion called Ava the other day, as she was walking around the house. He said;

"Look at her, she's such a tiny human."

Beside the obvious that she's a small little baby, she's only in the 10% percentile for height of kids her age. She's not destined to be tall by any means with parents like us. It's not in her gene make up, although maybe some of those Dutch genes may have skipped me and gone straight to my children, we'll see.

Every day I'm always thinking about the overwhelming and joyous responsibility that we have as parents. There are days when I'm overwhelmed by the responsibility. Days when I think about all that I want to teach her, my mind revels with ideas and thoughts all the time.

But mostly, I am just in awe of who she is. Her personality, and how she changes daily. Being her mom, becoming parents has blessed me in a way that I never imagined it could.

We get to raise her. Be there for her and our future children. Teach them things. Smile, laugh and be silly with them. I think about how I can't wait to bake cakes with her someday, go on more family vacations, attend dance recitals or whatever other activity she is apart of. Parenting is a big job. One that I am excited to have, but feel so under qualified sometimes for. But, I try to remember that God has equipped me for it. He's my strength when I am weak and don't feel cut out.

With a year under our belts, can we call ourselves veterans?

Mother's Day has always been a big celebration in my home growing up, with my Mother's birthday either on or after Mother's Day depending on the year it falls. We always celebrate big. Father's Day too is much the same. I'm the girl who walks into Target and comes out with a handful of Father's Day cards to give to all the Dads in my life.

I didn't grow up with a "traditional" Dad relationship. My biological father was absent most of my life, and isn't in my life now. At a very young tender age I accepted Christ as my Savior and I truly believe that he protected me from feelings of abandonment, hurt and anger towards my own Father. Sure, I had those thoughts and feelings from time to time, but mostly they stemmed from not understanding. Until I came to a point where I realized I will never understand why my own father left, why he never saw me or my sister growing up, I probably could go on an on about a lot of things "he didn't do."

When I say the Lord protected me, I truly believe it. And more than protected me he blessed with with a loving Step Father who was more a Father to me that my own bio logical father. He raised me, taught me the value of right and wrong, provided for me, and loved me even though I wasn't his own. I became his little girl. For that I am forever grateful and thankful for.

He will be a father to the fatherless.

Psalm 68:5

Orion's Dad left when he was 13 years old and he hasn't seen him since. There's so much of our past that comes out in our daily lives, so much of it affects what we think, how we feel and how we respond to life. My husband didn't have a Dad around to help shape, grow and nurture those formative years in his life. But, the Lord had a plan and placed amazing Godly men around him in his life to teach him, be there for him and grow his relationship with the Lord.

I am so thankful for a Godly husband who loves the Lord and will help guide and direct our children.

Proverbs 22:6
New Living Translation (NLT)
6 Direct your children onto the right path,
and when they are older, they will not leave it.

We may not be able to control or change the past but the wonderful thing about being parents now is that we get to choose the way we parent, and how we're going to be there for our children. It's so amazing this love we have as parents.

Our past has one story.

But, our future has an even better one.

Neither one of us grew up with our Dads in our lives, but we've allowed God's love to overwhelm us and we've chosen a better path.

I heard this song a while back, and I just love the words. As I sat listening to it, I imagined Orion with our children. He's already an awesome Dad to Ava. The way he loves her, plays with her, and protects her is amazing to me. It's such a blessing to have him so passionate about being her Daddy.

She loves him so. I look forward to watching their relationship grow. I look forward to seeing his role as her Father take shape.

I am so blessed. 

If you'd still like to donate to the Brooker's adoption fund please GO HERE, donations will be open till June 10th!


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