June 8, 2010

{smitten}

It's just a little past midnight here, the hubs is curled up next to me. The baby is sleeping in her own bed tonight. 

i am sitting here thinking about how truly blessed i am tonight, and every day for that matter. 

i never knew a love for someone like i know now for Ava. it's a whole different kind of love, a whole new amazing feeling. 

and daily i am smitten by her and the things she does. 

seeing the world through her eyes now makes my heart smile. and i can't wait to walk this journey with her, and take in all the things she takes in as if i too are seeing them for the first time again. 

there are so many things i love about this phase of life right now, and i thank god daily that he choose me to be her mommy, that he choose orion & i to be her parents.

as orion held her tonight and walked her around the kitchen while i was making dinner he began to explain to her what everything was and what it did, even though i know she won't be caring much about that coffee grinder sitting on the counter. never the less he explained to her what it did and told her how much mom loves her coffee.

i thought to myself, this is it:

this is our new world, our new lives, and i love this life. 

i love that she squeals with delight in the mornings when it just the three of us in bed before daddy is off to work for the day. 

i love her little smile and all the wonderful faces she makes that are so exciting to see. 

i love her big eyes that when she looks at me our eyes meet and i get that feeling that she knows me and loves me. 

i love how she follows me with those same eyes and won't let me out of her sight. 

i love just how she fits into my arms and sinks in a little deeper when she finally falls asleep and all her dead body weight is mine to hold. 

i love watching my husband be a daddy. a role that i have seen him take on all his own, like it's second nature. 

after a long days work he still comes home and bath time and holding our girl are all he wants to do. i am grateful that even after a long day at work he wants to be a team and give her baths and change her clothes and i am thankful for the help after a long day. 

i love that he tries to sing 'A Whole New World' to her tonight, but doesn't know all the words so he makes them up and keeps on singing to her. 

her curly, messy hair in its natural state is the most beautiful thing to me. 

how she's growing and changing every single day amazes me and at the same time I want to bottle it and take it with me, or freeze it in time. 

i love what she's teaching me about myself and she doesn't even know it yet. 

i love all her coo's and mmmm's that she makes and it's like we're having our own conversation and God is the translator of all that chatter. 

she loves to nurse and so i let her for as long as she wants. we don't watch the clock, we just are.

i love the way she props her foot up on my arm while she nurses, and if you try to move it or it falls out of place she gets it right back up there where she wants it. 

i love to watch her little fingers move and her arms, even though often times i'll look down while nursing and see that he fingers are ever so slightly "giving me the bird."

i smile and chuckle to myself, or quickly get orion cause it's just to cute to go un noticed.

i love the way she "holds & grips" my shirt while nursing, and a simple little tug lets me know she's still with me. 

i love that milk drunk look she gets on her face, and how she sometimes falls asleep as the wheel while nursing. even thought they say not to, sometimes I let her. 

i love that she's my little alarm clock.

she's becoming her own person more and more each day. she already had likes and dislikes and they are obvious at times. 

i can't wait for all the memories that we're going to make together. 

she's my muse, she makes me want to be a better person, she makes me want to do more, and reminds me of God's purpose every day.
i love that i see daddy's hands and my nose on her. 

i love that already she's calm like her daddy, but a chatter box like her mommy. 

she's finding her voice.

but most of all i simply love that she's ours.


three month pictures by mommy (more to come)

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